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Ask FearLess Love: Relationship Wrecker

I Can't Stop Complaining

I tend to find something negative to say in about most things and I greet most of my husband’s ideas with negativity. It drains me and it depresses my husband.  I know I need to have more gratitude and see the good in life.  When my husband points out my complaining, I typically tell him that I just see things as they really are, and then he gets offended. For a day or so, I’ll lighten up on the negative comments and then I’m right back at it.  It’s ruining my relationship. What can I do to stop and give my husband a break from my negativity?  Can a habitual complainer stop – and stop poisoning our marriage?

- Noreen

 

Dear Noreen,

I agree that a habitual complainer can poison a marriage.  It might help to think where this negativity is coming from. Perhaps your negativity comes from feeling depleted.  Consider prioritizing replenishment, play and pleasure in your life and in your marital relationship. Focusing on these on a daily basis minimizes pain, counters sadness, depression, anger, loneliness; fatigue. It also minimizes self-medicating behaviors such as turning to food for comfort, or using caffeine for energy, and alcohol for relaxation. It reduces health risks such as diabetes, cancer, heart disease, arthritis, and any stress related illness.

As an individual and as a couple discover how to restore and replenish each other’s energies through what pleases and pleasures you:

 

  • Research what brings you pleasure - white or dark chocolate, dancing, playing golf?
  • Create daily pleasure practices at home – sunset walks, aroma therapy massage; bubble baths.
  • Create daily pleasure breaks at work - take 10 – 15 minutes in the morning and afternoon to chat with your co-workers or for a quick lap around the parking lot. Don’t skimp on your lunch hour. Eat your meal and then go do something fun i.e., a manicure or a 30- minute foot reflexology massage.
  • Create time in your schedule and guard your daily pleasure breaks.

Instead of spending so much energy problem-solving or in negativity, why not balance your time having fun alone and/or with each other? Think together about what you can do to add pleasure and play to your life and marriage. When you are busy having fun and enjoying your life, there is no time for complaining!

 

Never Married-Over 40 a Red Flag?!

I met a woman the other day who referred to me as a “red flag” – that is someone she shouldn’t date. And why? Because I’m in my late forties and have never married. She said I would be a “better risk” if I was “at least “divorced? Ouch! What do you think? I’ve spent a lot of time working, traveling, and building my company. I’m currently single but have had girlfriends here and there. I just haven’t met the right woman. Do you think a man who has never married and is in his forties is a “red flag”? Any advice on handling comments like this? This is the second time I’ve been told something along these lines.

Max

 

Dear Max,

The young adult years focus on two areas: creating a career path and finding our way to intimacy/love. Developmental Psychologist Erik Erickson describes a basic conflict of Intimacy vs. Isolation. He believes this needs to be resolved by the time we are 40 or we suffer with feelings of isolation. While you have worked on the career path part, it sounds like the second has perhaps not had so much attention. Therefore, your friend’s concern is understandable, since having a happy marriage takes communication and intimacy skills, commitment, and love, as well as collaboration, cooperation and attachment. There is a regular give and take, which means you lose some freedom in order to achieve partnership. Someone who has gone through his or her 20’s and 30’s without committing to marriage might find engaging in these new habits difficult.

What’s more -- marriage is the only relationship that we make by choice where we are completely vulnerable to another human being -- financially, physically, emotionally, sexually, mentally and spiritually.  These things are foreign to a middle-aged adult who may have lived his or her life independently without being accountable to a mate. 

Address a person’s concerns directly. Ask them what it is about your singleness that concerns her; be honest with your response.  Reassure her by sharing what you believe makes you ready today to find the love of your life. Whether married or single, middle-age can be a time for an “adult revolution” when we revise our adult identity and reinvent ourselves. The 40’s can be a gateway to new beginnings.  Work with a relationship coach to work through any internal conflicts and to build skills that will enable you to attract and sustain a loving mate. 

If you have a question you'd like to have answered please email Jianny at Jianny@fearlesslove.net or speak with her personally at 954-495-4566.

Watch My TV Interview On Intimacy

YouTube interviewI was recently featured as a guest on Divorce Connection Network with Attorney Tammy Saltzman. The focus of this episode is on intimacy and how the emotional and physical aspects of a relationship affect how we connect with our partners. What is the intimacy status of your relationship and what can you do to strengthen the bond?  Watch to find out!

 

 

Improving Intimacy

Everyone needs to feel safe in their romantic relationships, but sometimes the fear of intimacy will cause us to put up walls in order to protect our emotions.  I was interviewed by South Florida Divorce Attorney, Christopher R. Bruce on the subject of intimacy, its aspects and how to handle the difficulties of an intimate relationship.  Listen to my podcast "Improving Intimacy" to hear how to maintain a healthy relationship without losing your own sense of self.

 

If you have any questions or would like to schedule a free strategic consultation, please contact Jianny at Jianny@FearLessLove.net or speak with her personally 954-495-4566.

 

As the founder of Fearless Love Relationship Coaching and Counseling, we specialize in matters of the heart for singles and couples desiring to create a safe and intimate marriage that lasts a life-time. I support couples to increase understanding, connection and intimacy — recharge the love that brought you together. Be equipped with positive communication and conflict resolution skills while refining intimacy skills. For singles interested in meeting the love of their life, I assist you to break through fears and limitations, heal from past relationships and to live authentically. Don’t just fall in love…live in love.

For divorcees, I support you to stabilize, heal, and recover; navigate through this life transition in a way that promotes a healthy living and to finding love again by finding yourself first. Nothing excites me more than to empower you to embrace balance, inner peace, passion, and love.

Jianny Adamo,MA, LPC, LMHC, NCC

238 NE 1st Ave, Ste.104, Delray Beach, FL 33444

 

 

Rethinking Marriage

I’m 41 and have been together with my girlfriend for 2 years and everything is great. We’ve talked about getting married, but I’m not sure that is the best route for me. She understood, at the beginning that I was not interested in getting married again, but there might be a time in the future when I would possibly reconsider. I’ve been married before and lost a great deal in my divorce. I’ve read that second and subsequent marriages can suffer from divorce rates higher than the first! I’ve been mulling over the idea of our commitment. I love her dearly and would be happy to adopt her children as my own and move to the next step of living together. What do you think about re-marriage? When do you think it’s a good idea or not? Would you ever recommend re-marriage when the chances of divorce are potentially so high? Is there a case for re-marriage?  -  Kenny

 

Dear Kenny,

Thank you for asking for support while considering the next steps in your relationship.  Your willingness to adopt your girlfriend’s children demonstrates your commitment to them.  If you are willing to put it all on the line for the children, what’s keeping you from doing the same for the woman you love dearly?

You indicated you had been married before and lost a great deal.  The ugly truth about divorce is it’s not supposed to happen.  When it does, it tears apart two people, two hearts once joined as one.  It’s unnatural. As human beings we connect, relate and bond.   Divorce can leave you picking up the pieces, to make sense of a world that’s upside down and in a state of chaos.  The good news is that you can recover from divorce as you can from many traumas.  The question is not if there’s a case for re-marriage.  The real question is, are you willing to recover from your losses, learn from the past and open yourself again to unconditional love and marriage?  It requires risk. It always does. Today, you’re aware of the cost when it fails.  Take your time. Complete your healing and love. Paradoxically, the antidote to your losses is your ability to once again be able to express unconditional love.

 

Love or Security?

I have been dating a wonderful man for about 6 months and I don't think I have ever felt more loved, adored and appreciated by anyone, however he has no steady income. I am in my early 50's, divorced, and not making much money.  I am concerned about my financial future. He provides for my emotional needs, but not the realistic side: money, home, necessities, vacations, etc. This sounds a bit superficial, but it is also a reality. He talks about being together forever and that I am the love of his life. He says he has been looking for work but he is an artist.  I have broken up with him over these concerns regarding finances, yet we keep getting back together as there is a strong emotional connection. Bottom line: I have a wonderful sweet man who loves, adores, appreciates and cherishes me unconditionally. I am comfortable with him, love him, and can be myself with him. No situation is perfect. I could end up alone and poor, so perhaps I should just be thankful and grateful for what I have or am I settling?   - Sophia

 

Dear Sophia,

We have certain basic needs that need to be met in order for us to function. We need food; clothing and shelter. Physical safety as well as financial security are important to our well-being. Just as important is our need for love and a sense of belonging which is met through our friendships, community, family, and intimacy.

Our need for love and acceptance can often trump our physical and security needs. However, the answer is both.  You need both financial security as well as love. Love and security are non-negotiable. The number one reason for divorce is financial. So the man you consider to spend the rest of your life with should know the importance of these needs if you’re looking for smoother sailing in your relationship. Talk with your boyfriend.  Can you agree on a financial plan for your current situation and for your future?  If you can’t come to a mutually beneficial agreement then you have your answer. Fear of being alone should not compromise your well-being.

 

If you have any questions or would like to schedule a free strategic consultation, please contact Jianny at Jianny@fearlesslove.net or 954-495-4566

Friends With The Ex

Dear Fearless Love,

I am still friends with my ex, but my current boyfriend has an issue with this. We are just friends, but he feels uncomfortable about us still hanging out together. What am I obligated to do here? Do we break up or am I forced to give up the friendship even though we've known each other a very long time?

-Cindee

 

Dear Cindee,

I am assuming your ex is your ex-husband.  It is said that a divorce is 20% legal and 80% emotional.  In order to be emotionally available for your next relationship it is important to let go of emotional ties, dependencies and attachments of your past relationship.  This is very hard to do as it requires complete mourning, aka death, of the relationship:  What it was, what it wasn’t and what it will never be.  If you feel that you have already gone through all the stages of grief: Denial/Isolation, Bargaining, Anger, Depression; Acceptance and now have reestablished a new relationship with your ex but it is getting in the way of your new love, you may want to consider which of these relationships is the most important.  Do you want to hold on to the past relationship which is safe and predictable? Do you want to embrace a new relationship and its uncertainties?  Examining your answers to these questions may help determine how to approach each of them.  Ultimately, it is important for you to have clarity unto what it is you really want for yourself as well as making sure you are truly honoring the relationships you are in. 

 

Arguing Skills, Anyone?

Dear Fearless Love,

From time to time, my husband and I argue – over big and little things. While he tends to keep his cool, typically I usually get very upset and often say things that I regret. This makes it even worse. I love my husband and don't want to damage our relationship, however I don't know how to "argue" the right way. He says I overreact and create mountains out of molehills. What can I do to bring more peace to our relationship and to diffuse issues so they don't turn into arguments or, if they do, how can I prevent things from getting out of hand?

-Martiza

 

Dear Martiza,

In an argument both you and your spouse are trying to be heard.  Emotions are high; however, take responsibility for your attitudes and behaviors. Stay away from: criticism, defensiveness, sarcasm, blame or any vague communication style that’s disrespectful.

Slow down.  1-Mirror back what you heard and 2- make sure you understood his perspective.  3-Validate the parts you agree with and 4-ask if there is more he wants to share before you reveal your opinions and position on the topic. 5-Invite your husband to reciprocate this active listening exercise until you both feel heard.

Active Listening Exercise: 

1-Mirror-- “I heard you say that I overreact and create mountains out of molehills.”

 2-Confirm—“Did I get that?”

Wait for response.

3-Validate or empathize—if he feels understood, “I agree that I usually get very upset and often say things that I regret.”

If he doesn’t feel understood, ask him to repeat the message and repeat the three steps until he feels you heard him.

4- Question-- “Is there more on this issue you’d like to share?” and listen if there is.

5-Recipricate- If his thought is complete, “Would you listen to my response and make sure you get me before responding? Thank you.”

Conflicts are natural to relationships. Remember making-up deepens the love, connection and passion!

 

If you have a question for Jianny email her at Jianny@FearlessLove.net or speak with her personally 954-495-4566.

 

As the founder of Fearless Love Relationship Coaching and Counseling, we specialize in matters of the heart for singles and couples desiring to create a safe and intimate marriage that lasts a life-time. I support couples to increase understanding, connection and intimacy — recharge the love that brought you together. Be equipped with positive communication and conflict resolution skills while refining intimacy skills. For singles interested in meeting the love of their life, I assist you to break through fears and limitations, heal from past relationships and to live authentically. Don’t just fall in love…live in love.

For divorcees, I support you to stabilize, heal, and recover; navigate through this life transition in a way that promotes a healthy living and to finding love again by finding yourself first. Nothing excites me more than to empower you to embrace balance, inner peace, passion, and love.

Jianny Adamo,MA, LPC, LMHC, NCC

238 NE 1st Ave, Ste.104, Delray Beach, FL 33444

www.fearlesslove.net

Tel: 954-495-4566

Ask Fearless Love: Lasting Love

Ask Fearless LoveAfter the affair: Tell or Do Not Tell?
I cheated on my husband and I haven’t told him. I’ve broken it off with the other man. I know what I did was wrong and I feel guilty and awful. I don’t even know why I did it. My husband is a wonderful man and he’s been nothing but devoted and good to me. I fear that if I tell him, I’ll destroy our marriage of 12 years and create even more problems. I don’t want this to instigate a divorce or hurt our kids. What should I do? Should I just try to move on as if nothing happened?
—- Michelle

Dear Michelle,
Yes confess, but to a professional or mature friend, who can support you.  Look inward. You may feel a range of emotions from guilt, fear, shame to sorrow.  Figure out why you cheated.  Both men and women cheat primarily for emotional reasons. They feel lonely, disconnected, distant from their partner, taken for granted, or bored.  They also cheat when there isn’t enough sexual intimacy, which can happen when the relationship is not balanced: ranking high on being safe and secure but low on passion and spontaneity.

Once you have sorted your feelings and reasons then decide how to proceed.  Sometimes it is only necessary to ask for changes to get things back on track. Sometimes a confession is necessary.  At other times you can make the adjustments without involving your partner and let the past stay in the past. An example of the latter is if you have been neglecting yourself and your sex life. Embracing your sensuality, feeling beautiful and sexy doesn’t require a man!

No matter what you decide to do, don’t forget to forgive yourself. Forgiveness of self is necessary for healing and growth.

Will I be alone forever?
I’m in my thirties. I have a lot of friends and a career. What I don’t have is a partner. I feel left out of an important part of life and it breaks my heart. All of the relationships I’ve had were disasters. Now, I feel there is little hope of finding anyone to share my life with. To others it appears that I’m happy and successful, but the truth is very different. I’m afraid of being alone forever. What should I do?

— Ella

Dear Ella,
Not finding your life partner can be very disheartening.  No, you don’t need to be alone forever. There is love and a person out there for you.  You may need to engage in a little soul searching and clearing the path first.

Using a sheet of paper, take a look at your relationship history.  List all of your significant relationships – family, teachers, boyfriends, friends and anyone who’s had an impact on your life. List the positive traits and the negative traits of each relationship not of the individuals.  You should be able to see patterns and common threads emerging.

Are there relationship cycles that need to be interrupted or broken? Are there fears and disempowering beliefs undergirding these patterns?

Some of these cycles can be overcome by reading and some may need the assistance of a professional.

Next learn to trust your instincts.  When you meet a potential candidate what does your gut tell you? It’s important to be aware of how you are responding to an individual. Consider it valuable information.  Take this insight and be intentional about what you want and what you are willing to work for to have a loving relationship.

Jianny Adamo, MA, LPC, LMHC, NCC
238 NE 1st Ave, Ste.104, Delray Beach, FL 33444
www.fearlesslove.net 
Tel: 954-495-4566

About Jianny Adamo, MA
As the founder of Fearless Love Relationship Coaching and Counseling, we specialize in matters of the heart for singles and couples desiring to create a safe and intimate marriage that lasts a life-time. I support couples to increase understanding, connection and intimacy — recharge the love that brought you together. Be equipped with positive com-munication and conflict resolution skills while refining intimacy skills. For singles interested in meeting the love of their life, I assist you to break through fears and limitations, heal from past relationships and to live authentically. Don’t just fall in love…live in love.

For divorcees, I support you to stabilize, heal, and recover; navigate through this life transition in a way that promotes a healthy living and to finding love again by finding yourself first. Nothing excites me more than to empower you to embrace balance, inner peace, passion, and love.

Ask Fearless Love: Dating

Ask Fearless Love: Dating After Divorce?

Dating after divorceI want to ask out a woman I know, but I’m not sure it’s a good idea. She divorced her husband about 4 months ago. I’m not close friends with her, however we do know each other. She’s someone I’ve always liked and so when she divorced, I was actually happy I could pursue her. What’s your advice about asking someone out after a divorce? Good idea or not? Is it too soon? She’s a great lady and I’d love to get to know her better.     -Will
 
Dear Will,
It’s a good idea to take a timeout from romantic relationships after a divorce.  This time is best used to complete the stages of grief which starts prior to filing for divorce: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.  Individuals cycle through in no particular order and revisit different stages until reaching complete acceptance of their loss.  Ending a marriage represents a loss of hopes and dreams, perhaps a lifestyle and requires learning how to live without your other half.  Divorce is never easy and can be more stressful than the death of a spouse. Following a divorce, individuals need time to heal, and if there are children it is wise to give them time to adjust to their new reality before introducing another person into their lives.
Your lady friend is the only one who can decide when she’s ready to date. Generally speaking, it takes about 1 year for every 5 years of marriage for the emotional divorce and healing to complete.  Call her and at the very least be a friend.  Allow things to evolve naturally.  She may be happy to have male companionship at this stage of her process and with your sensitivity she may see you as a gift.
Wait! I Want a re-do on the “Will you …”
I proposed to my girlfriend of 5 years about two weeks ago and she said “yes.” Now, I’m regretting that move. We’re both in our forties and our children are out of the house. We’ve lived together all this time as if we were married — or at least for 4 of the 5 years we’ve been together. So why change a good thing? I’ve noticed that as soon as I proposed, I started to feel anxious, suffocated and like I wanted to run away from all of this. I do not want to get married! What should I do? I have no intention of leaving her, but I really don’t want to change the way things are. I’m just not sure how to bring this up to her.
Scott
Dear Scott,
Post engagement jitters can occur at times.  Be patient with your anxieties as perhaps they may be drawing your attention to unfinished business from a past relationship or marriage that needs completion prior to moving on to the next marriage.  Other reasons for the anxieties can arise from anticipation of role and/or responsibility changes.  Talk with your fiancé about these concerns. Open and honest communication leads to greater understanding and deeper connection, the antidote to the jitters.
I’d imagine that your fiancé is very important to you.  Re-negotiating the engagement may back fire and cause a rift in the “good thing” you have established with her.  It may be seen as a lack of commitment on your part.  Love takes courage.  I wish you the best and may you find a way to attain what you truly want in spite of your fears.
 
 
If you have a question for Jianny email her at Jianny@FearlessLove.net or speak with her personally 954-495-4566.
As the founder of Fearless Love Relationship Coaching and Counseling, we specialize in matters of the heart for singles and couples desiring to create a safe and intimate marriage that lasts a life-time. I support couples to increase understanding, connection and intimacy — recharge the love that brought you together. Be equipped with positive communication and conflict resolution skills while refining intimacy skills. For singles interested in meeting the love of their life, I assist you to break through fears and limitations, heal from past relationships and to live authentically. Don’t just fall in love…live in love.
For divorcees, I support you to stabilize, heal, and recover; navigate through this life transition in a way that promotes a healthy living and to finding love again by finding yourself first. Nothing excites me more than to empower you to embrace balance, inner peace, passion, and love.
Jianny Adamo,MA, LPC, LMHC, NCC
238 NE 1st Ave, Ste.104, Delray Beach, FL 33444
Tel: 954-495-4566

Ask Fearless Love

Dear Fearless Love, Who are you – really?

loveI am considering joining an online dating site. I have heard that people online frequently misrepresent themselves and many are already married. I think people you meet in person can do the same thing. That got me thinking, what information should I be asking people I “meet” online. What type of information should I ask when we’re corresponding and before we actually meet?
– Anthony, 49 and divorced

Dear Anthony,
I find the title of your request to be your guide: Who are you- really, Anthony?  Whether dating online or in more traditional ways the first order of business is to know yourself.
You should know whether you are looking for recreational short-term dating, long-term relationship or marriage.

What are your non-negotiables for example: honesty, financial stability, where you’d like to live, children, lifestyle, religion, etc.?  How about your interests? Do you see yourself rollerblading, bowling or going to the symphony with your partner?

Once you narrow down your needs and interests what you are looking for becomes more apparent.  You can tailor your conversations around what’s important to you.  Also pay close attention to how you feel both on the phone call and in person. Trust your intuition.  If you are sensing something is not quite right or a red flag comes up than you’re probably right.  Don’t make excuses for it and move on.

There are a variety of online dating site. Do your research before making a selection as you may find that some sites can take a lot of the guess work out of the sorting process.
Happy Dating!

Dear Fearless Love,
I’m 35 and have been married 3 years. Frankly speaking, I married because¬ I didn’t want to be left alone. I got caught up in the fun of the romance and the wedding planning. So here I find myself with all the newfound fun a distant memory and wondering how to “make this work.” We do love each other. But now I want more for the both of us. How do we start over?
Can it be done? And, how do we do this?
–Beve, 35 married

Dear Beve,
It seems that you have moved through the honeymoon or romanticized love phase of your relationship which centers on attraction, bonding, ecstasy, hopes and dreams, usually lasting about 2-3 years.  The next phase is described as the power struggle depicted with disillusionment, frustration, anger and/or being at an impasse, which would explain why the fun is a distant memory and you’re wondering how to “make it work”.

Congratulations for wanting more out of your relationship.  You’ve entered the re-commitment phase, which is a journey of growth and healing.  From here you move into doing the work to co-create the marriage of your dreams.  Start by asking yourself what your ideal marriage looks like.  You can create a collage of pictures or a mind map of words to help you.  Be real with yourself first.  Then share your dreams with your husband, keeping an open mind that he may have his own visions and dreams. With a renewed vision of what marriage is, for the both of you, and dedication to it, you can attain the love and connection that only exists in committed love.  Enjoy the journey of rediscovering love.

If you have a question for Jianny email her at Jianny@FearlessLove.net or speak with her personally 954-495-4566.

 
 

As the founder of Fearless Love Relationship Coaching and Counseling, we specialize in matters of the heart for singles and couples desiring to create a safe and intimate marriage that lasts a life-time. I support couples to increase understanding, connection and intimacy — recharge the love that brought you together. Be equipped with positive communication and conflict resolution skills while refining intimacy skills. For singles interested in meeting the love of their life, I assist you to break through fears and limitations, heal from past relationships and to live authentically. Don’t just fall in love…live in love.

For divorcees, I support you to stabilize, heal, and recover; navigate through this life transition in a way that promotes a healthy living and to finding love again by finding yourself first. Nothing excites me more than to empower you to embrace balance, inner peace, passion, and love.

Jianny Adamo,MA, LPC, LMHC, NCC

238 NE 1st Ave, Ste.104, Delray Beach, FL 33444

www.fearlesslove.net

Tel: 954-495-4566

Grand Opening Celebration

Jianny Adamo's photo.

13 Signs You Are Stuck In A Bad Romance

Is low self-esteem at the root of your unhappy relationships?

  1. Lacks a Conscience
    He still has current pictures of his last girl and shows up to places she will be present, even though she started a campaign against him to warn any would-be lovers.
  2. Does Not Make You a Priority
    He prioritizes his ex-wife’s needs over yours, but he tells you it’s for the sake of the children. The baby is 18 years old...hmmm.
  3. Manipulates
    He doesn’t call or contact you while he is traveling. But he does show up with a gift because he knows you are pissed.
  4. Disrespects You
    You request to be home by 11 pm and you need to remind him that it’s 10:45 pm. He tells you he still needs more time before driving you home, when, as it is, your home is 35-minutes away. Your needs are ignored even when clearly spoken.
  5. Lacks Thoughtfulness
    You’ve been under chiropractic care. It doesn’t come naturally to him to try to alleviate your pain. You are forced to ask and/or beg for a neck rub every time you are together.
  6. Puts You Down
    He calls you a princess for having expectations about being seen and heard in the relationship.
  7. Undependable
    He is all about having fun when you are together but when you need his help with a school, work, or home project, he leaves you hanging.
  8. Projects His Own Issues
    He doesn’t safeguard the relationship and is still communicating in social groups with other single ladies, yet accuses you of flirting with other men when you are out.
  9. Lacks Integrity and Honesty
    When you ask him a question he gives you a quick answer. He appeases you in order to avoid a fight. Deep down inside you know there is something wrong with what he said and what you have experienced. You feel emotionally unsafe and/or insecure.
  10. Lacks Commitment
    He doesn’t introduce you to his family nor does he invite you to any of their weddings and gatherings. He also refuses to go to any of your family events.
  11. Self-centered
    “Us” is not part of his vocabulary. He says your standards are too high and making you happy makes him feel pressure. The truth is, love moves us to give selflessly.
  12. Lacks Self-control
    You ask him to respect certain sexual boundaries. He tells you he hears you and the next minute he moves through those boundaries.
  13. Plays With Your Emotions
    Instead of asking you out on a proper date, he calls you at the last minute or shows up where he knows you will be, just to hook up. He calls it being spontaneous. I call it playing with your emotions and having nothing to offer you.

Finding a man who will respect and care for you can be tough but not impossible. The power is within you;  you deserve better. For many, our experiences have created confusion about our worthiness. Get in touch with your true values and who you really are. Being authentic invites others to be authentic. Soon you will make a true connection of love, based on reality, not fantasy.  The perfect man does not exist. There will be no white knight to rescue you.  

Do not settle until you have the right balance of heart-skipping love, passion and peace with a person who will respond to your needs, support and challenge you. 

If you or someone you know deals with low self-esteem issues, please feel free to contact me at jianny@fearlesslove.net or call 954-495-4566.

Fearless Love In Delray Beach, FL

238 NE 1st Avenue, Suite 104
Delray Beach, FL 33444

I am delighted to announce the opening of Fearless Love Relationship Coaching and Counseling in historic Bankers Row in Delray Beach, Florida. Fearless Love founded in 2011, specializes in matters of the heart for singles and couples who desire to create a safe and intimate marriage that lasts a life-time.

Since opening its doors Fearless Love has worked with clients through-out North America, Europe and South America offering hope, healing and restoration. Virtual coaching is available through video conferencing and phone consultations making ­­­­Fearless Love accessible to all.

Couples increase understanding, intimacy and passion -- recharging the love that brought them together. By equipping them with effective communication and conflict resolution skills, encouraging self-discovery as well as refining their intimacy skills, clients experience greater success in their personal and professional relationships.

Singles complete a 12-Week Conscious Dating Program that promotes healing from past relationships and prepares them to meet the love of their life. Clients are prepared to not only fall in love, but to -- live in love -- by living authentically and learning how to honor themselves as well as their mate.

Divorcees stabilize, heal, and recover from the, often times, traumatic event of uncoupling and starting over.  Clients discover the art of safe guarding their hearts while maintaining an open heart that leads to healthy living and to love again.

Christian  and spiritual counseling available.

It's my joy to empower my clients to move past fear and limitations and to embrace a rewarding life centered in inner peace, passion and love.

7 Cheap Ways Not To Fail At Romance This Valentine Or Ever

Seven simple ways to take the pressure off and bring back romance.

Are you burning the midnight oil trying to figure out what to get your sweetie this Valentine’s Day? Do you feel pressure instead of pleasure in having to prove your love each year?  The truth is romance doesn’t prove your love -- it keeps it strong. Romance is an essential element of keeping the flame alive in your relationship.

Let’s face it; most of us don’t think we have the time or energy to prioritize romance in our lives. So we think about it a couple times a year perhaps around Valentine’s Day, birthdays or anniversaries.  The truth is romance should be experienced on a regular basis – daily. Luckily, romance doesn’t have a price tag nor does it need to consume an exuberant amount of time. In this tough economy, who says you can’t succeed in romance and strengthen your love?

Make romancing your Sweetie a habit. Take the pressure off:

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Anger: Good or Bad For Your Relationship?

Tips on making anger work for your relationship.

Does anger belong in your relationship, or better yet, in your life?  Is it Okay to express anger or is it a deadly sins? Depending on culture, religious beliefs and personality, you will find different answers, but make no mistake, anger is a controversial topic.

Just this week in bible study, I got into a heated debate on the topic of anger. Part of the group came alive engaging the discussion while others got on their knees and asked the Lord to resolve this conflict! Maybe not. However, they could not wait for us to settle down and resume the study.

You may embrace peace as the highest virtue and anger-- the enemy. Therefore, anger is not entertained, but rather released for the higher purpose of serenity and homeostasis.  Living in peace brings contentment without having to achieve much else.   

Or you may recognize anger as an emotion having a place and time, which moves you into action. You live by different sets of higher values such as integrity or altruism. The energy generated from anger is channeled to formulate a plan to attain goals and to unleash creative energy.

Okay, so you are in a relationship and conflicts and tension are unavoidable, if you both express your needs. You subscribe to expressing anger and your spouse subscribes to keeping peace...

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How Is Your Love Defined?

Discover the three phases of love and how each phase draws different aspects of you.

Everyone wants love but not everyone finds it. Interestingly enough, when you love or are in love, you know exactly what it is. Love paints our view of the world and bestows purpose and meaning to life. Somehow, when love is absent or lost, amnesia sets in. It's hard to define love; you ask if it's even real. You are either on a journey toward love or on a journey to defy it.
Love is fluid, offering different flavors and depths. In the attraction phase, being in love is an emotion producing, strong affection and obsession for another. It's driven by chemistry racing around your brain and body, an experience many poets and artists have written about. It's euphoric and cannot be understood unless you have experienced it yourself.

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Thanks a Million!

To my new South Florida friends, thank you for inspiring me and for showing me the great need for what I am trained, skilled and passionate about. To my long standing New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania friends and family thank you for supporting and assisting me in launching my dreams into the world.

I thank God for giving me breath, igniting me with passion and surrounding me with the most amazing people. FearLess Love is a labor of love through which I am honored to be fulfilling my purpose to serve humanity by setting hearts free to truly love and live fully with power, passion and purpose.

To everyone who has had a part in my life, whether great or small, a Million Thanks!

Jianny

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