Ditch Obsessing Over Your Ex

5 smart ways to stop obsessing and move on for good!

You and your ex have been broken up for several weeks, perhaps several months now, but you’re still obsessing. You’re dissecting every possible scenario in your head that could’ve been handled differently. You’re spying on your ex’s Facebook and Instagram pages or hitting the chocolate chip cookies as if they are your best love replacement plan.

Life Coaching and Counseling - Fearless LoveThese responses to a broken heart can be natural ways your heart turns for coping in order to give you a sense of control over what happened, but they each have the potential of keeping you stuck instead of moving on. Having your heart broken is painful. Although, grief, fear, and anger may be unavoidable, this is a great time to refresh and renew. Out with the old and in with the new.

Along with maintaining healthy eating habits, getting proper rest, sleep and exercise, do these five ingenuous things to stop obsessing. Ditch your heartache and swap for feeling happy again:

  1. Ditch negative thinking— about yourself, your loved ones, and your circumstances. Swap with positive, affirming statements. “I am healing my broken heart and I am redefining life on my own terms.” Or “Everything is just the way it should be. It will all work together for good.” What’s causing you discomfort in the moment, in time will become a speck of dust or a stepping stone for something greater. Swap for slow deep breathing and smelling the roses.
  2. Ditch people pleasing. You haven’t got time for that. Swap for getting comfortable with saying “no” to people and tasks that don’t line up with your objectives or don’t add value to your life. Swap for self-expression. What is it you’d like to do, have or be?
  3. Ditch DIY. Why get depleted with mundane or trivial tasks you don’t enjoy? Swap for treating yourself to support. Hire a service to clean or complete projects around your home. How about a virtual assistant, relationship coach, personal trainer, nutrition coach, decorator or chauffeur? The possibilities are endless. You don’t have to do it alone and many of these services’ prices are negotiable.
  4. Ditch resentment and bitterness. Negative energy takes a toll on your body. Swap for a grateful heart. Starting each morning with an appreciation or affirming thought puts you a step closer to happy. Swap for practicing forgiveness. Purposefully letting go of the anger and bitterness towards those who have hurt you as well as yourself frees you from the past and resets your heart to love again.
  5. Ditch spending money on shopping sprees. Your piggy bank will appreciate it. Swap a party instead. A great way to purge of things reminding you of your ex is by hosting a Swap and Sip party with 8–12 ladies. Serve wine and cheese. Everyone brings a bag of lightly used clean personal items they no longer want. Swap jewelry, shoes, clothes, bags, resort wear, accessories, etc. In more eccentric parties you’ll find lingerie, bathing suits, and wedding gowns. It’s better than a bazaar! You’ll want to host them seasonally. Whatever doesn’t get swapped gets donated to charity.

When we love, we become vulnerable to our significant other. Love can blind us to our partner’s abuse, such as in the case of domestic violence and intimate partner abuse. If your pain persists or you’re dealing with self-destructive behaviors, rage or depression, it’s important to talk with a counselor to help repair your broken heart. Life will flow and the sun will shine once again.

By | 2017-03-22T18:42:08+00:00 June 1st, 2016|Categories: Dating, Divorce|Tags: , |0 Comments

About the Author:

Jianny Adamo, LMHC, founder of Fearless Love Coaching and Counseling supports singles and couples breaking through fears and limitations to create safe and intimate marriages and relationships. Video calls and phone consultations available. Jianny is writing her book Love Trauma: Seven Tango Lessons to Recovery from Emotionally and Sexually Abusive Relationships with Narcissists, Psychopaths and Other Toxic People. She may be reached at 561-450-5580.

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