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Is It Fake Or Fearless Love?

A Check List To Spot The Signs

Is It Fake Or Fearless Love? A Check List To Spot The Signs - Jianny Adamo

Believe it or not, the best way to determine if you are on the path of fake or fearless love or is to become clear about how the person you’re involved with makes you feel. Someone who cares about you will place you at the same level or higher than themselves. You are confided first. Your opinion matters most. Your well-being comes first. Their behavior will line up with making sure you accept them and return their affection. These are characteristics of Fearless Love.

Check out this list to spot the signs. Is it Fake or Fearless Love?

  1. Feelings
    • When we are together, do I feel comfortable and happy, or do I feel sad, confused, or frustrated?
    • Do I respect him, or do I want to change him?
    • Does he respect me, or are my feelings and boundaries disregarded?
    • Do I appreciate how he impacts my life, or am I feeling used?
    • When I share my thoughts, feelings and worries, does he listen and respond with compassion, empathy, and care, or am I invalidated?
  1. Needs
    • Does the relationship matter equally to each of us? Is he available for me, or do I need to chase him when I’m hurt, stressed, or ill?
    • Is there a balance in our giving and getting, or am I doing the work of maintaining the relationship?
    • Does he place my needs equal to or above his own, or I’m I ignored?
    • Do we bring out the best in each other, or do I feel like the parent or the bad guy at times when I’m with him?
  1. Communication
    • Do I enjoy talking with him? Do I feel heard and acknowledged, or do I feel misunderstood?
    • Do his behaviors and words match? Can I trust him to keep his word, or is he manipulating me?
    • Does he take my views into consideration when our opinions differ, or am I undermined?
    • Can I say no to him, or is my no not heard or respected?
  1. Values
    • Do we see the world through similar beliefs and values, or am I just going along for the ride without having my own sense of self?
    • Do I like his lifestyle, or does his lifestyle conflict with mine?
    • Is he financially responsible and does he have a plan for the future, or is he flying by the seat of his pants?
    • Do we both value honesty, transparency, and commitment, or are there inconsistencies?
  1. Future
    • Does he plan his future with me —dates, family gatherings, and holidays, or am I the secret significant other?
    • Is he intentional with me and clear about what he wants, or is he evasive and non-committal?
    • Have I been honest about what’s important to me to be happy in a relationship? Does he seem capable of giving me what I want, or am I made to feel like I want too much?
    • Is my happiness important to him, and does he see a future with me, or am I the only one who’s vested in our future and happiness together?

When you are in a healthy relationship, every part of you can be known, be challenged to grow, be respected, be supported, and be loved completely and fearlessly. It’s my goal to empower and educate you with the tools needed to avoid people who are incapable of expressing love, as well as to support your healing journey when love and the loveless collide. You’re wired to give and receive Fearless Love!

 

About the Author:

Jianny Adamo, LMHC, founder of Fearless Love Coaching and Counseling supports singles and couples breaking through fears and limitations to create safe and intimate marriages and relationships. Video calls and phone consultations available. Jianny is writing her book Love Trauma: Seven Tango Lessons to Recovery from Emotionally and Sexually Abusive Relationships with Narcissists, Psychopaths and Other Toxic People. She may be reached at 561-450-5580.
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Love Trauma
Publishing in 2018

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