She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not

Dear Fearless Love,

How do you know when someone no longer loves you?

~George

Dear George,

Relationship and Couples Counseling - Jianny AdamoThe short answer is they tell you. They are not available for you. They are not responsive to you. They do not have time for you and verbally and behaviorally they communicate they are not interested. For love to flourish you must be available, responsive and engaged with your partner.

In dating, these behaviors may signal the relationship has run its course. At this point it may be wise to say good-bye and set each other free to find a suitable partner. Depending on the history and relationship stage the answer will vary.

For instance, the above answer is sufficient for new love, non-committed relationships. Yet, in a committed relationship, the behaviors indicated above point to a deeper relationship issue, which can usually be resolved if both parties are willing to be safe enough to hear the truth of what is going on in the relationship.

In a committed relationship and in marriage, rough patches are to be expected. Love ebbs and flows creating tension and conflicts that if resolved draw the couple closer and deeper in their intimacy. You do not discard this relationship but rather push forward to regain the trust and love that has eroded. This is how we grow in love and in wholeness.